As we have been going through Romans I have been reminded of how the law of God brings me to my need for my savior. It’s interesting how much rebellion fires up within me when I try to keep the rules. Even when my motivations are noble. I don’t do what I want to do then I do what I don’t want to do. UGH! I have noticed in my life when I am drawn in by the fact of God’s love for me and allow that to be the source of my life I don’t even think about rules I just live loved and love others. This in turn doesn’t result in the rebellion that saying “I can’t, I shouldn’t” produces in me.
I want to live like this all the time but by tendency is to be a noble rule follower most of the time followed by self-condemnation and self loathing when I don’t live up to the standard I set before myself. I know God’s grace covers me but when I am focused on rules then that becomes a principle I live by and that doesn’t produce much victory or confidence in the work God is doing in me.
My struggle is to remember I can’t do anything (even with noble reasons) consistently. When I am “doing” it for a reason. I want to remember who I am; I am God’s kid who was made in a unique way truly loved and accepted right were I am at the moment and to let this truth transform me rather than becoming a principle I live by.
